tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17509675945481953162024-03-19T11:30:31.556+00:00The Dogs BlogThe Dogs Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01841765235050525487noreply@blogger.comBlogger61125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750967594548195316.post-49840685079765339282011-10-16T17:10:00.003+01:002011-10-16T20:54:19.783+01:00It's back!After much nagging and gnashing of teeth, the two-legger TJ has finally handed over the laptop to us mutts so that we can start blogging again. He admits that he spends far too much time on that bloody bookface thing, so the break from 'likes' and moaning about why he can't 'embed links in a status update' will do him good. <br />
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Suki here - the pretty one. Jack was going to blog first but he is feeling a bit sorry for himself. He split a pad on his right front paw this morning and reckons typing is far too painful. I told him he was a wuss, whilst at the same time ensuring I was a decent distance away from any act of retribution.<br />
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Going back to his royal numptiness that is TJ, he has developed a rare new ability. Well I say ability, it's more of a lack of ability and more like a new level of stupidness. He has developed the unique skill of being completely rubbish at shopping. A couple of weeks ago, he went shopping for the 'bits' for a roast chicken - and came back with all the trimmings - and no chicken. Then a few days ago he went out to get the 'bits' for a chili con carne and came back without the kidney beans. And the best yet was when he went out for some milk and came back with a 40" telly! - and no milk.....<br />
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'And where's the milk?' asked a slightly exasperated SJ.<br />
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'Er.....' said TJ - and picked up his car keys.<br />
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Today, me and Jack went on a walk with 39 other dogs and their owners up on the forest. Rosie and Abi decided that 4 miles was going to be too far and went to SJ's parents and put their feet up.<br />
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It was an experience I won't forget in a hurry! First up we came across a sow and her piglets. She was not overly happy to see us and made sure we kept our distance. Then it was on to the heathland where much fun was had by all. As it was a warm Autumn day, some of the contingent decided to cool off in the boggy hollows - no doubt their two-leggers were so pleased to see them come out covered in smelly black bog water.....<br />
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Jack spent most of the walk plodding along at the back, he likes it that way. He told me afterwards that he spent most of the time chuckling at the sight of the more adventurous four-leggers who had taken up the new sports of Dog Bog-Snorkelling, Dung Rolling and Crap Snacking. Tee hee.....<br />
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Suki.The Dogs Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01841765235050525487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750967594548195316.post-37838207207550376452010-12-12T19:34:00.002+00:002012-04-09T14:14:41.390+01:00Pie HoleGreetings - Abi here.<br />
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I felt I had to blog because in Rosie's last scripture I felt my intelligence was somewhat discredited. And I need to put that right. You may recall that Rosie 'joked' about 'supermarket' black holes. Of course I know that they are 'supermassive'. And for your information, Rosie wouldn't know the difference between a worm hole and her pie hole. Or the difference between a supernova and a Vauxhall Nova. Or the difference between Pluto the planet (actually it's not a planet, it's a big ball of ice) and Mickey Mouse's dog. So there.<br />
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I am indeed thinking about the philosophy of physics. Unusual for a greyhound I know. It is a fascinating subject - matter and anti matter - why? Why indeed. Dark matter - who? And particle physics - what and how? Who cares? We all should. At least I think we should. Or do I?<br />
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I have also been thinking about the arts as well as science. I needed to broaden my thinking. I have been studying the history of art and what makes up art. Fascinating stuff - when I have drawn some conclusions I'll let you know.<br />
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Furthermore, I have been looking at two-legger sport and what it is that makes hoomans so competitive. And what part reward has to do with it. TJ watches sport on the television. He will watch anything - Football, cricket, golf, rugby and even darts and snooker. SJ thinks he is odd. Us dogs <strong>know</strong> he is odd. He says that it satisfies his competitive edge. We say he is a dullard.<br />
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I have determined that it comes down to survival. To survive you have to compete, and survival is the reward. And as the two-legged race has developed to the point where survival is 'given', at least in the western world, the 'competing' has turned in to sport. To some extent, sport satisfies the survival instinct. Blimey I'm good!<br />
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I discussed this with Maisie. She is a survivor as you know. She says that I am right. She said that she has spent most of her life competing in order to survive. She says that only now does she wake up and realise that she does not have to compete, or even fight, to survive.<br />
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Before I go, I thought I would share my favourite quote from Groucho Marx (discovered during my research in to the history or art - the art of comedy):<br />
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"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."<br />
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Abi. XThe Dogs Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01841765235050525487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750967594548195316.post-32994774137355247782010-12-05T18:37:00.002+00:002012-04-09T14:14:41.390+01:00Numptiness..........isn't really a word, but it's the only word I can use when referring to just about anything and everything that TJ does - he takes the biscuit sometimes. Read on.....<br />
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Rosie here (again). Abi says she hasn't got time to blog at the moment as she is at a critical point in her latest research project. If you recall, Abi is very intelligent (or she likes to think she is) and spends much of her waking time, about 98% of it, deep in thought. The other 2% is made up of peeing (lots), pooing (mountains of it), eating and drinking. She says she has turned her attention to the philosophy of physics and is researching supermarket black holes. I haven't the heart to tell her that it's 'supermassive' not 'supermarket'. Especially as she has come to a conclusion that if Tesco entered a black hole it would most likely appear at the other end as a Lidl, with no clubcard scheme.<br />
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Jack is in no fit state to blog either. He's besotted with foster girlie Maisie. He calls her his 'little royster-doyster' and seems to determined to 'see things through' as he puts it. Charming. How he intends to achieve this is puzzling us ladies, as he seems to have forgotten that he is missing his testicles. Still, it should be fun watching him try. Maisie calls him a 'collosal eunuch'. Jack clearly doesn't know what a eunuch is as he seems very pleased with himself. 'I'm a eunuch you know' he says, 'collosal too', and then he grins like a small child with wind.<br />
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Suki isn't up for blogging either. She's too busy prettying herself. There is a white Saluki in the village called Smidge and we occasionally walk up on the forest with him and his sister Twiggy..... and Suki, well..... you can probably guess..... tart.<br />
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So it's down to me! Anyhow back to TJ.<br />
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It snowed last Wednesday night. It snowed a lot. TJ turned in to numpty kid. He's a proper arse most of the time, but a few inches of snow turned him in to a grinning idiot. He sat and stared out of the window.....<br />
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'It's still snowing!' he said.<br />
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'I know, I can see.' said SJ, 'And it's only 45 seconds since the last time you told me.' she added.<br />
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'It's getting deeper!' he squealed.<br />
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'I know, I can see.' said SJ.<br />
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'It's proper snow too!!' he was nearly crying with delight by now.<br />
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'I KNOW!, I can SEE! said SJ, calmly.<br />
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This went on for two days. Poor SJ, it's hard enough looking after 5 dogs.<br />
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On day 3 it thawed and it rained. So what does TJ do? He gritted the driveway!<br />
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'Why have you gritted the driveway AFTER it snowed and AFTER it has melted?' SJ asked.<br />
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'Er..... er..... er..... because..... because..... the tarmac looked like it would benefit from being covered in grit? Yes?<br />
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'No.' said SJ. Needless to say, it rained again and the grit was washed down the drains.<br />
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There really is no hope for him. <br />
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Rosie. XThe Dogs Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01841765235050525487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750967594548195316.post-75522401325599881942010-11-28T17:38:00.003+00:002012-04-09T14:14:41.390+01:00Foster Girl Maisie<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3bK4hhOAKHUmJje6w7catBf3tEaNtmLNg58_qKf9cHEE_teD02JtRWpOvcknEiKEA0BSz8_O0y8GfrE4Pvx8yBW7d2ruHnMg9VXD-rerAzzclGX5fjsALt9keNK9gMuzNBP_KwCgxtEhg/s1600/098.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3bK4hhOAKHUmJje6w7catBf3tEaNtmLNg58_qKf9cHEE_teD02JtRWpOvcknEiKEA0BSz8_O0y8GfrE4Pvx8yBW7d2ruHnMg9VXD-rerAzzclGX5fjsALt9keNK9gMuzNBP_KwCgxtEhg/s320/098.jpg" width="214" /></a></div><br />
This is Maisie. She is a lurcher and she arrived on Thursday.<br />
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Rosie here - the two-leggers have taken in this waif and stray as a foster dog for Southern Lurcher Rescue (SLR) * <a href="http://www.southernlurcherrescue.org.uk/">http://www.southernlurcherrescue.org.uk/</a> *.<br />
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She is a wonderful pooch considering everything she has been through.....<br />
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SJ called TJ at work on Thursday and told him that a kennels in mid Hampshire had been in touch with SLR about two dogs they had taken in last week. One was Maisie and the other is now called Tag. They had been found by a dog warden. They were locked away in a shed and had been for some time.<br />
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TJ said that we had to help, so SJ rang the lovely lady that runs SLR and it was agreed that we would take in Maisie. (Tag was taken on by another kind SLR volunteer). So TJ drove to the kennels after work (he got lost 3 times on the way - typical - numpty) and picked her up. The kennels had looked after her well, but she clearly needed individual care and attention.<br />
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When she arrived we all went for a walk so we could all get to know her. She straight away told us that she was scared and didn't know what was going on, and asked if we knew what was going to happen to her? Abi told her that she was safe at last, that she had been rescued by SLR and that she had nothing at all to be worried about. Jack told her that there was a warm, comfy bed waiting for her and lots of food. Suki told her that SJ and TJ would look after her and that the dark days were now behind her.<br />
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When we got back to the house we had a chance to have a good look at her. We were shocked and a little upset. Poor, poor Maisie - no wonder she had been so scared. How could any two-legger ever let one of God's creatures get in to such a state? She is covered in flea bites and scabs (caused by fox mange). Her coat - filthy, greasy and smelly. Her tail - patchy and bald at the end, and she has several missing teeth and some that are broken. Worst of all, she has urine burns from being forced to live in a shed..... - I cried.<br />
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We all tried our best to make her feel welcome. She soon started to settle, realising that her nightmare was finally over. That night, TJ slept on the sofa in the lounge to keep her company - but his bloody snoring kept her and the rest of us awake! He sounded like an angry pig with a sore throat - never ever heard anything like it! He needs help - what a truly awful noise.<br />
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The next day (Friday), SJ took Maisie to the vet. He gave her more antibiotics for her skin and checked her over. All things considered, she is doing ok. In the afternoon SJ and TJ gave her a bath - she needed it apparently - SJ said the colour of the water defied description - poor dog. Later we went for a walk around the village. She peed everywhere - even more than Abi does - which is no mean feat I can tell you. She joined us in the lounge after tea whilst the two leggers watched a film. She slept soundly.<br />
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On Saturday we all went up to the Forest for a walk:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTh9XPMWnu7YqiYxpVcDON48m_kxvR1Ve-ER4rbMnHPTnwKulueUgZt4BOjy9rODqU2DbL9Qso468RjeWdvmtZTzrakSOmZQHRwXdCkIw3_t2wzqe1dMpW7SPDnv6JhxlapLw0GbgqMfQw/s1600/112.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" ox="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTh9XPMWnu7YqiYxpVcDON48m_kxvR1Ve-ER4rbMnHPTnwKulueUgZt4BOjy9rODqU2DbL9Qso468RjeWdvmtZTzrakSOmZQHRwXdCkIw3_t2wzqe1dMpW7SPDnv6JhxlapLw0GbgqMfQw/s320/112.jpg" width="246" /></a></div><br />
That's Maisie - 2nd from the left.The two-legger is TJ. I told you he was gormless prat. The inane grin on his face just proves it.<br />
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The walk was lovely, but it was very cold. Maisie said that she didn't care - not one little bit. Bless - I'd almost forgotten what it was like to live in a shed..... at least I had a bench to sleep on.....<br />
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Today (Sunday), the two-leggers took Suki, Jack and Maisie on an SLR walk. It was too cold for me and Abi so we stayed at home. Maisie said that she'd never met some many dogs before. But then she said that each and everyone of them told her that she was safe now and would be for ever more.....<br />
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Rosie. X<br />
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ps. Maisie's farts smell worse than TJ's - unbelievable I know.....The Dogs Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01841765235050525487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750967594548195316.post-58384206248173361112010-11-21T17:12:00.002+00:002012-04-09T14:14:41.390+01:00What were they thinking.....?I am Sammy the Wise. I am a lurcher - a wise lurcher. And I was in charge.<br />
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Rosie has invited me to blog about the holiday in Welsh Wales. I am only too happy to oblige. For it would be unforgiveable if I was not to share our experiences on THE holiday. This is the first blog of several.....<br />
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Indeed, 'What were they thinking?'. 'They' being the six 'two leggers', who thought it would be a good idea to take 3 Jack Russells, 4 Greyhounds and 10 Lurchers on holiday to Wales for a week.<br />
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That's 17 dogs in total. Seventeen. Formed from 3 packs.<br />
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Pack 1 being 'The Mob'. Led by Roxy, it's the biggest pack. The others being Lazy Daisy, Darcy Bussell, Kid Freddie, me, Ollie Twist, Bonkers Bodhi and Lenny Boy.<br />
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Pack 2 is 'The Hit Squad'. Cousin Vinnie is in charge. Dangerous Dylan, Shylo Bean, Reggie K and Dex the Mex make up the rest. Dex isn't Mexican, he's from Fareham, but Mex rhymes with Dex, so it stuck. <br />
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And Pack 3 is 'The Enforcers' - Rosie is in charge. The smallest pack but with Jack the Hat in their ranks - this pack is a force to be reckoned with. Abi Dabbi and Suki Su are no push-overs either.<br />
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So how come I was in charge? Well there could only be one leader. So Roxy, Cousin Vinnie and Rosie got together on the first day to discuss matters. They agreed that the leader could not be one of them so they asked me to step in. Why me? Well, I am wise - and wisdom was required if we were to perform at our 'best' for the two leggers.<br />
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So it was down to me to lay out the plans and for the pack leaders to make sure they were delivered. We had a ball.....<br />
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We stayed at a place called Four Acres - a big house with a BIG garden. So in dog terms, it was a BIG toilet. We had greyt fun.<br />
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I set it out that all packs had to poo as frequently as we could in the BIG toilet. The purpose: to cause maximum distress for TJ. He is always stepping in sh1t and therefore made it his mission to 'tidy up' the BIG toilet as often as possible. He never twigged that we were doing it on purpose. When we went out, we all did our darndest to hold on until we got back. We also went out of our way to make sure we dropped our logs in the places TJ was most likely to step in them. <br />
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The pack over-delivered. TJ stepped in just about every pile going, whilst collecting two full refuse sacks of stinking dog sh1te over the week. Over the week, I reckon he must have spent at least half a day cleaning out the soles of his boots with twigs. And if I had a pound for every time he smelled the end of the twigs.....<br />
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The house rules were perfectly adhered to. The plan was, obviously, to annoy the two leggers as much as possible. Dex the Mex barked his head off when ever I instructed him, Kid Freddie chewed everything and Abi Dabbi and Jack the Hat 'lurked' at every two legger meal. Bonkers Bodhi kept knicking the toast, Reggie K pissed on the duvets whenever he was let near them and Lazy Daisy left her 'nuggets' in just about every room she could. Greyt work.<br />
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The farting plan was perfectly executed too. My instruction was that when any of us felt the need to 'let go' we had to find the room with most two leggers in before we chuffered. More often than not, the said room became the room with no two leggers in. We had greyt fun moving them from room to room.<br />
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By the way, 'hot wind' had to be delivered at 'sofa level', ie on a sofa and aimed at a two leggers face preferably. Ollie Twist had this off to a tee. The result often led to the two leggers leaving the room gagging for breath. Outcome: more room for us on the sofas.<br />
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So the house was ours.....<br />
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.....next stop: Broad Haven beach.....<br />
.....to be continued.....<br />
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Sammy. XThe Dogs Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01841765235050525487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750967594548195316.post-19930966681997995862010-11-10T11:00:00.001+00:002012-04-09T14:14:41.391+01:00Welshest WalesTuesday<br />
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Garlic breath. We all go to the beach. Cold but dry. Greyt fun. Darcy legged it. Jim legged it after her. Funny. Two leggers take top piccies. Drive down steep hill, turn round, drive back up it. Nice one TJ - buffoon. <br />
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Go to pub. Dogs not allowed in, sit in garden. Cold. <br />
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Tesco. Bored. Back to Four Acres. SJ's knickers walk down the hall. <br />
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Lots of pies for tea. Cow pie, chicken pie, apple pie. SJ did silent fluffer. Whiffy.The Dogs Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01841765235050525487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750967594548195316.post-37064288874228265412010-11-10T10:48:00.001+00:002012-04-09T14:14:41.391+01:00Welsh Wales cont./Monday afternoon<br />
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TJ & SJ take us to the beach at Broad Haven. Rain. Two leggers indulge in biggest bag of chips in the western hemisphere. TJ belches alot - git. Rain stops. Jack and Suki off lead on the beach. Lucky sods. I've got a bad toe :o(<br />
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Drive down to Skoker Island. Pointless. Couldn't see it cos of big hill. SJ sighs. TJ apologises - pillock. <br />
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Mark cooks top cookery pasta scram. Jim said it needed just a tad more garlic. TJ belched. Gilly belched louder. SJ did silent fluffer.The Dogs Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01841765235050525487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750967594548195316.post-70739560967077274262010-11-08T12:10:00.004+00:002012-04-09T14:14:41.391+01:00Welsh WalesRosie here. We're on holiday! With 13 other dogs! In Wales. <br />
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TJ is letting me blog on his iThingy. Quite tricky, so I will keep it short for now and then blog proper when we get back. <br />
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Travelling Day - Saturday<br />
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Bacon baguettes, roof box with cable ties, dust brush on car roof for 30 miles, smoking engine on the M4, Burger King (yum), Darcy poorly :o( nice house with 4 acres to run around in :o) two poos in the lounge (tee hee), Mark finds the gay bar, England lose the rugby, Karla makes yummy scrummy food, TJ hammered - tosser. <br />
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Day 1 - Sunday<br />
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Shylo up at 5:30, Jim chases Daisy round the house, back to bed, Gilly cooked breakfast, Bodhi poorly :o( Mark & Jim go fishing and catch a sea bass, Tesco, Dylan injured :o( stitched at the vet. TJ cooks stew - everyone gets wind. Rain. <br />
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Day 2 - Monday so far<br />
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Rain, off lead in the big field, rain, Gilly's knickers, rain. Lenny chucks up in TJ's shoes.The Dogs Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01841765235050525487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750967594548195316.post-31158829291223404832010-10-10T20:27:00.002+01:002012-04-09T14:14:41.391+01:00Gilly, Karla, Kate, Romi and Rachel - the girls done good!Abi here - the gorgeous one.<br />
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We had our breakfast before our morning walk today, so we knew something was up. That only happens when something is up. And then TJ took Rosie over to EB and DJ's. So up something definitely was. Rosie has a bad leg at the moment after tripping on the garden steps. So, if she was being carted off to Oscar's it could only mean one thing - a nice long walk.<br />
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I was right, it was a Greyhounds In Need (GIN) walk in the New Forest. It was brill, there were loads of dogs - and we had some newcomers today! I particularly liked Ace - a very handsome greyhound - who has just finished racing. And Buzz the lurcher was scrummy too.<br />
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The weather was superb. It was hot, so the water stops were very popular. Jack loves the water and was splashing about like a complete loon, I told him it was like a having French Mastiff on the walk - everyone was soaked. Suki had great fun chasing all the lurchers through the reeds.<br />
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I was happy to watch it all unfold in front of me. After all, I'm getting on a bit now - I was eight years young last Thursday. I love watching the nippers having fun.<br />
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The end of the walk came all too soon, but it was nice to climb in to the nice comfy car for a rest. Jack must have drunk too much water in the last pond cos he just kept belching very loudly from the back seat of the car. 'Pardonne Moi' he kept saying, pretending to be French, 'Quel horreur' he added.<br />
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'Tais-toi Jack' I replied, (Be quiet Jack). 'Tu est un bouffon'. (You are a buffoon). He forgets that I'm fluent in seven languages.....<br />
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Instead of going home, we went to a pub in Romsey for lunch. Caspar (a scruffy) came too. And then Vinnie, Dylan and Shylo turned up with Mark, and Freddie and foster girl Suzie with Jim. The pub was a 'rendezvous' point. <br />
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It turns out that SJ and TJ's friends Gilly, Karla, Kate, Romi and Rachel were doing an 8 mile sponsored walk to raise money for Southern Lurcher Rescue (SLR). They were walking the Test Way. I wonder why they had to do a test as well? Seems a bit harsh.....<br />
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Lenny, Dexter, Reggie, Millie and Ginny did the walk to. And can you believe that they have managed to raise over £1200. Jack and Suki are both SLR dogs - they were well impressed.<br />
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'Increable! Bravo! Magnifique!' bellowed Jack when they all turned up at the pub. I looked at Suki and we both just sighed. TJ's idiotness is starting to rub off on Jack.<br />
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The two-leggers had some scram and the we headed off home, picking Rosie up on the way. She had a top time messing about with Oscar and being spoilt by EB and DJ.<br />
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What a greyt day.<br />
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Abi. X.The Dogs Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01841765235050525487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750967594548195316.post-72775948019871973442010-10-04T20:47:00.001+01:002012-04-09T14:14:41.391+01:00Two Portuguese Miniature Maltese Poodles and a South African Sausage DogSuki here - I had a lovely afternoon out on Saturday. I went to a party!<br />
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SJ and TJ took me to a childrens party. It was great. TJ works with a lady called Isa and she has twin daughters. They were 8 years old last week and they had shindig to celebrate. TJ and SJ were invited and took me along. Jack, Rosie and Abi stayed at home with EK and GJM.<br />
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When we got there I was convinced we had gone to the wrong place. I thought we had arrived at a circus! There were clowns everywhere! There was a clown entertaining the children, the children were dressed up as clowns and so were some of the adults! It was great fun!<br />
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The clown entertainer did magic. He made rabbits appear and disappear! TJ had to take me for a walk before the novelty wore off and my natural instincts took over..... ;o)<br />
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And then I met some dogs! They were very small...... and they talked different languages!<br />
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I think they told me their names but to be honest, I had know idea what they were on about!<br />
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There was a sausage dog from South Africa. He is 14 years old and a bit deaf - so he kept shouting at me - No idea what he was yelling about. Occasionally, he decided he should show me his teeth, and then grunt in a rather odd fashion. I said that his teeth needed a brush, he just grunted.<br />
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His legs are so tiny, I think he suffers from being vertically challenged.....<br />
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And then, I got really confused. I met two Miniature Maltese Poodles from Portugal. How can you be Maltese and from Portugal? I asked them if they were sure they weren't Miniature Portuguese Poodles from Malta. They had no idea what I was asking them - they're Portuguese!<br />
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On went the party - the kids had a great time. The sausage dog waddled about, shouting at everyone and showing off his manky teeth, the Maltese Portuguese Poodle Miniatures hoovered up the food that the kids had dropped and the clown man made animals out of balloons.<br />
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Before I knew it, it was time to go. I slept all they way home. <br />
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It was nice to meet some dogs from overseas. Even if I couldn't understand a single word.<br />
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Suki. XThe Dogs Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01841765235050525487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750967594548195316.post-47871855649602240452010-10-01T11:20:00.005+01:002012-04-09T14:14:41.391+01:00I like a laugh.....Hello - Jack the Long(and quite wide)dog here! Time for some dog fun I reckon!<br />
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To start us off, here is my top 10 list of things that annoy me about TJ the idiot.<br />
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1. Blaming his lager farts on me..... not funny... not funny at all!!! <br />
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2. Yelling at me for barking. I'M A DOG.<br />
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3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is it anyway? <br />
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4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. <br />
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5. Making me beg for food. Tosser.<br />
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6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. TJ fooled a dog! Whoooo-Hoooooooo!! What a proud moment for the so called top of the food chain.<br />
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7. Taking me to the vet to have my anal glands emptied, then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back! <br />
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8. Getting upset when I sniff people's crotches. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet. <br />
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9. Making me wear a coat when it rains. I can't pee properly and it all goes down my leg.<br />
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10. How he looks disgusted when I lick my todger. TJ you're just jealous. <br />
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So TJ, we both know who's in charge and it's not you! You don't see me picking up your sh*t, do you? <br />
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Moving on..... <br />
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I asked Abi: 'How many Greyhounds does it take to change a lightbulb?' <br />
She said: 'Who cares'. <br />
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I said to Rosie: 'What do you get if you cross a Cocker Spaniel with a Rottweiler?' <br />
She said: 'Cockrot'. <br />
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And..... <br />
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A bloke goes to dinner with the parents of his girlfriend for the first time ever. They're sitting in a pretty conventional fashion, table cloth, lots of food, dog lying under the table, all that. <br />
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Halfway through the main course, the bloke has an urge to fart. Not an urge, a compulsion, a need. He can't get up without looking rude, so he leans to one side and lets rip a quiet 'parp'<br />
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The father of the family looks under the table;<br />
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"Rover!" He says. <br />
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'Blinding' thinks the guy, 'Got away with that one, now they think it was the dog. Marvellous...'<br />
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Five minutes later, he needs to fart again. But he got away with it before, so he tries it again....<br />
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*quack!*<br />
<br />
"Rover!"<br />
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Marvellous.<br />
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Twice more he does it, twice more the father calls on his dog.<br />
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*parp!!*<br />
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"Rover, come out!"<br />
<br />
*quack!!!*<br />
<br />
"Rover!"<br />
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It's getting late in the meal, and our man is quite pleased with his success. Dizzy with it, and full of good girlfriendally-parent cooked food and wine, and knowin the dog has always been... y'know... he lets rip a monstrous airbender....<br />
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*PPAAAAARP!*<br />
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"Rover? Rover!" Says the Father, "Rover, get out from under the table, before that boy sh*ts on your head!" <br />
<br />
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Suki says I have to tell you this joke. It makes her laugh every time!<br />
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A lady is very upset because her pet Chihuahua has only been placed second in Best Of Breed at Crufts so she decides to speak to the Judge and get some advice on how to win. The Judge tells her that her dog only came second because it had hair growing on its chin. He advised her to apply Immac Hair Remover Cream for 2 weeks just before next years competition to ensure 1st place.<br />
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So 2 weeks before the following years Cruft Show off she goes to the local chemist and asks for a tub of Immac Hair Remover. The assistant asks if she has used it before to which she says she hasn't. The Assistant tells her not to wear a tight blouse after application to allow the cream time to work on her armpit hair. The Lady replies indignantly that the Cream is not for her armpits but for her Chihuahua.<br />
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The assistant replies "in that case madam, don't ride your bike for a couple of days."<br />
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I thank you..... <br />
<br />
Jack. XThe Dogs Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01841765235050525487noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750967594548195316.post-63901580291902263502010-09-25T20:20:00.002+01:002012-04-09T14:14:41.391+01:00The day Keef and Brendah came to visitHello, Hello! Rosie here. So sorry that we have taken so long to blog again. But the numpty TJ has been moaning on about being busy at work for months on end and won't let us use his puter. We don't understand why we can't use SJ's. She says that her puter is 'special' and us mutts are not allowed to use it in case we bite the mouse! As if! ;o)<br />
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Anyhoo, I'd like to tell you about a very special visit we had on Wednesday. Finn, Guinness and Poppy came to see us with their two-leggers Keef and Brendah. They are all lurvely!!<br />
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They are from Essicks apparently. And they all talk funny. Proper funny. We couldn't understaaand a word they was on abaaat. They said that we sounded funny!! Cheek, we talk proper make no mistake.<br />
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Keef is a right larf. We sniggled every time he opened his marf. Tee hee. He loves his dogs, it was obvious. So does Brendah. Abi made a bee-line for her and had larvaley cuddulls.<br />
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SJ met this lot through the wonderful charity Southern Lurcher Rescue. They were down in the New Forest on holiday and popped in to see us. We would have gone on a walk with them but Suki was spayed on Tuesday and can only do very short walks at the moment.<br />
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Finn, Guinness and Poppy are so, so nice. Finn is a longdog and Guinness and Poppy are retired greyhounds, When TJ got in from work he went on SJ's puter and found Guinness on the greyhound database. His racing name is JimmyTheRinse. For some reason he never had a race. Lucky Guinness I say. Abi told him about all the racing she did, all over the country, two races a week, week after week for three years..... Poppy nodded, Jack sighed.<br />
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I raced too, but Guinness had heard enough.....<br />
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Finn is a handsome fellah. If I hadn't been spayed and he wasn't lacking his man spheres, I reckon we could have been good for each other. Ah well.<br />
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Keef reckons that Jack is a widedog, and not a longdog. Me and Abi reckon Keef is right. But we daren't tell Jack! He's bigger than us.<br />
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Keef and Brendah are wonderful two-leggers, they love us sighthounds. Finn, Guinness and Poppy are lucky pooches. We can't wait til we meet them all again.<br />
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Rosie. X<br />
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ps. Finn is short for Finnegan. Which is nice.The Dogs Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01841765235050525487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750967594548195316.post-8713086509457247442010-07-25T17:47:00.003+01:002012-04-09T14:14:41.392+01:00Seventeen dogs.....Jack the Longdog here. TJ is on holiday again so we get to have a go on the laptop..... woohoo!<br />
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We went for a walk today at Manor Farm. Here is the roll call: Bonkers Bodhi, Dylan, Dexter, Vinnie the Man, Roxy, Rosie, Abi, Me (Jack), Daisy, Darcy, Shylo, Suki, Lenny, Gorgeous Ollie, Sammy the Wise and last but by no means least Reggie and Ronnie Kray.<br />
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Reggie was being fostered by Mark and Karla but he weedled his way in their hearts and they have adopted him. TJ said that he looks 'as happy as teenage boy in a bucket of tits'!<br />
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Ronnie is Mark and Karla's latest foster. He is a street dog and has struggled to get used to living in a home. But he is getting there and he will settle in soon. It's been 4 days since he last had a pee in Mark's boots! He's a bit of a wise crack, always telling jokes - the two leggers don't get them of course, but he had us mutts in stitches. I was amazed he was so chirpy considering he's just had his nuts nipped. If you are interested in adopting Ronnie then please contact Southern Lurcher Rescue (Google it for the website).<br />
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Lenny is also a new addition. Gilly and Jim took him in as a foster and then adopted him. He's proper Irish - couldn't understand a word he said. He kept going on about 'Guiness', what ever that is, and muttered somthing about 'hurling'. Hope he's not been throwing up.....<br />
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We had a good belt around the dog field (except Suki - she laid down and sunbathed) and then it was off to the pub so the two-leggers could eat and drink. Twas very hot in the garden. The two-leggers kept us cool with wet towels and water.<br />
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Then we went back to Manor Farm for a walk through the woods down to the river. It was bliss. Daisy and Roxie had a blast - what a pair of loons - proper small dog syndrome. Lenny, Dex and Reggie kept us all entertained, along with some perfectly timed one-liners from Ronnie. Suki laid down.<br />
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When we got to the river we all piled in - great fun - and ran up and down the shore line chasing nothing in particular. Suki laid down.<br />
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On the way back, Reggie went awol a couple of times - chasing the ladies, sorry, squirrells. Ahem. Suki laid down.<br />
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We're all cream crackered now - and I'm looking forward to cooked white fish in my dinner. Yum.<br />
<br />
Jack the Longdog. XThe Dogs Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01841765235050525487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750967594548195316.post-56863093013806974202010-05-31T21:10:00.001+01:002012-04-09T14:14:41.392+01:00Spring bank holiday BBQSuki here again - the others have let me blog cos I am the newbie.<br />
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We went over to a place called Manor farm today for a BBQ. Gilly and Jim (two-leggers) were there with Roxy, Daisy, Bodhi, Darcy, Mr Twist and my best friend Sammy. Karla and Mark (two-leggers) were there with Vinnie, Dylan, Dexter, Shylo and their newest foster - Reggie.<br />
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Reggie was rescued only yesterday by Karla and Mark (aren't they wonderful?). Reggie is a lovely, friendly, affectionate (small) lurcher - all the boys were jealous though - he has a truely MASSIVE pair of knackers - we girls were well impressed, especially when he let us sniff them. (Even TJ was impressed. He talked about them all the way home..... SJ couldn't wait to get out of the car.)<br />
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I heard Sammy telling Reggie that he too was safe now and that he would be happy for the rest of his life. Sammy is a wise dog - Reggie listened.....<br />
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So there was 15 dogs and 6 two-leggers. We had a hoot. We were let off lead in the dog inclosure - great fun. Dex and Bodhi are sooooo fast. And Darcy had a good run too. Reggie just kept running around showing his bollocks off. TJ said to Mark that if his own plums were so impressive then he too would run around in a field showing them off. Mark went off to speak to Jim at this point.....<br />
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Sammy and me had a play too. It was just great.<br />
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All too soon it was time to go home :o(<br />
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When we got back - TJ went to pick EK and GJM up - they are staying for the week. They were pleased to see us. We all had a play in the garden. And then a good sleep.<br />
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I love my new life. The SLR people deserve medals.....<br />
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TJ, however, deserves a slap round the head according to SJ.<br />
<br />
Suki. XThe Dogs Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01841765235050525487noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750967594548195316.post-21468096353638372482010-05-30T19:48:00.001+01:002012-04-09T14:14:41.392+01:00Introducing me. My name is Suki.Hello everyone - my name is Suki.<br />
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I have found my forever home with Rosie, Abi, Jack, hapless TJ and the lovely, lovely SJ.<br />
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I am a small white lurcher. I am about 3 years old. TJ will post a pic soon.<br />
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I was rescued from a shed by the fine people at Southern Lurcher Rescue. I'd rather not talk about my past if you don't mind. Suffice to say that my life to date has been a bit of a struggle.<br />
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A lovely lady called Jenny rescued me from the shed. I wasn't feeling very well. Sheds are cold and damp. I love Jenny.<br />
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Then a lovely man called Jim came and collected me and took me too his beautiful home. That's were I met the wonderful Gilly. Jim and Gilly have 6 dogs of their own. They all made me feel so welcome because they know what it's like to be a rescue dog. They are so happy. Daisy and Roxy are JRT's and they are so friendly. Bodhi is a lurcher and he is bonkers - he made me smile for the first time in months. Ollie (the twist) gave me the nod of approval. Darcy is a retired racing greyhound and tells a tale or too - what a hard life. And then there is Sammy.....<br />
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A nicer dog you could not wish to meet. Sammy's face says it all, he loves everything and everyone around him. He adores Gilly and Jim. Sammy looked me in the eyes and said that I was safe now. I felt so much better. Better than I have ever felt.<br />
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A few days later SJ and TJ came to see me with Rosie, Abi and Jack. Sammy said that I would love living with them and that I needn't worry as I could see Gilly and Jim whenever I want.<br />
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So I went home with SJ, TJ, Rosie, Abi and Jack.<br />
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I am so happy. Thankyou Jenny. Thankyou Gilly and Jim.<br />
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Suki. XThe Dogs Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01841765235050525487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750967594548195316.post-17939849934091294922010-05-30T19:19:00.001+01:002012-04-09T14:14:41.392+01:00The Scottish Highlands - Day 14 - Things come in 3'sSorry for the gap in blogs - we couldn't get to a laptop. But we have now and we are all blogging!<br />
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The last day of the holidays was very eventful. First up, TJ broke his iThingy! He dropped it down by the recycling bins and the screen shattered. When he came back his bottom lip was trembling and his eyes were bloodshot.<br />
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"He's been crying like a baby" said Jack. "He needs to get a grip, the blouson".<br />
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TJ phoned up the insurers and they said he could have another phone on Monday. He stopped blubbering.<br />
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Then SJ joined in with the whining.....<br />
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"Ow, ow, ow!!" she bleated. Turns out she put Biofreeze under her arms instead of deoderant. Ha! Ha!<br />
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TJ had no sympathy. He was just staring at his broken gadget and whimpering.<br />
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SJ spent the rest of the day walking round with her arms in the air and complaining that her armpits were numb. "Wave your arms in the air like u just don't care." said Abi. We all sniggered.<br />
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We went for a walk at Loch Morlich and then back to the cottage. It was the last day of the holidays and we were driving back home overnight. So TJ had a sleep and SJ did some packing.<br />
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We drove back to the New Forest, stopping a few times for pees and a walk and arrived back home at 5am in the morning. Everyone was very tired.<br />
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Then the class prat TJ locked us out of the house. What a complete pillock that man is.<br />
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We were all getting out of the car, TJ and Jack went in to the house leaving SJ with me (Rosie) and Abi.<br />
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SJ tripped and fell over in the driveway and hurt herself quite badly. Abi ran off down the road. SJ called for TJ to help. He arrived (eventually) shutting the front door behind him. And left the door keys inside the house. For crying out loud.....<br />
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TJ gathered up Abi.<br />
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So there we were. It was 5am on a Saturday morning. Jack was in the house and the rest of us were not.<br />
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Fortunately SJ has the good sense to leave a spare set of keys with a neighbour, just in case things like this happen. She knows TJ so, so well.<br />
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Trouble was it was too early to disturb them. So we sat in the car for an hour waiting for them to get up. SJ fed treats to poor Jack through the letterbox. She didn't talk to TJ.<br />
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The neighbours got up just after 6:30am and TJ collected the spare set of keys. We all had a sleep.<br />
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Later that day EK and GJM turned up, and the next day..... along came Suki.<br />
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XThe Dogs Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01841765235050525487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750967594548195316.post-31630030910392056342010-05-13T18:35:00.001+01:002012-04-09T14:14:41.392+01:00The Scottish Highlands - Day 13 - Alt MorAbi here. The gorgeous black greyhound. Mwah!<br />
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Well today TJ finally lost the plot. The weather was cold and windy.<br />
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"I know what we'll do, we'll go and see the Reindeer herd." he said.<br />
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Me, Rosie and Jack just looked at each other.We should have bitten his legs off.<br />
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The Reindeer are on Alt Mor. Alt Mor is halfway up the Cairngorm. The Cairngorm is a long way up in the air. <br />
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Oscar came too.<br />
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It was crap. It was too cold and too windy. And TJ just kept going and going. Up and up. And did we see Santa's bloody sleigh pullers. Did we b*****ks. TJ just kept grinning.<br />
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"Aye, bloody lovely up 'ere." he said. No it wasn't.<br />
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"You can see for miles.". No you couldn't.<br />
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"Makes you feel good to be alive!". No it didn't.<br />
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TJ - you are a gitface. And you need your bumps felt.<br />
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In the afternoon we went for a much more agreeable walk by the river Spey. It was SJ's idea. She is normal.<br />
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Abi. X.The Dogs Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01841765235050525487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750967594548195316.post-30280769631655172732010-05-13T18:17:00.002+01:002012-04-09T14:14:41.392+01:00The Scottish Highlands - Day 12 - Three deerJack the lad with the latest news.....<br />
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It didn't snow today, what a bonus. But looking up at the mountains, it was pretty clear that it had snowed up there during the night. So TJ decides that's where we're going. I don't know why, you will have to ask him. His decision making is odd to say the least. We all feel sorry for the people that work with him.<br />
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So off we went up the mountain. On the way up we saw two huge Red deer. SJ tried to get some pics but the deer were too clever by half and kept hiding behind trees.<br />
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We got up to the base ski station and guess what. It was snowy and cold. Thanks for nothing TJ. He seemed pleased with himself. God knows why.<br />
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And then we came back down again. Great use of time.<br />
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We went for a walk down to Loch Morlich. No otter this time but we did see Roe deer. Abi spotted them first. We rooed, yelped, barked and growled but the two-leggers refused to let us off the lead. Yah boo sucks to them I say.<br />
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Me and Rosie had a great time playing in the Loch. I love chasing sticks - I don't know why though.....<br />
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We then went back up the mountain but stopped at a car park half way up. SJ got out, went off for half an hour and then came back. She had been to see the Reindeer herd. She got some nice pics of two mums with their baby reindeer. I reckons they look more like cows.<br />
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So three types of deer in one day and we didn't get to eat any of them.<br />
<br />
Jack. X.The Dogs Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01841765235050525487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750967594548195316.post-86883192479755734942010-05-12T09:15:00.003+01:002012-04-09T14:14:41.393+01:00The Scottish Highlands - Day 11 - More snow.....Rosie here, my turn to let you know what's been going on.....<br />
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When we woke up this morning it was snowing AGAIN!! The mountains have had quite a dusting. This weather is just mad:<br />
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"It's the bloody cricket season for arses sake!!" moaned TJ. <br />
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We went for our morning walk. It was freezing (and snowing), Jack said that it was so cold that he couldn't feel the tip of his tail. It didn't take long for us to 'produce' - we just wanted to go back to bed.<br />
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It snowed on and off for most of the morning so we stayed at the cottage. In the afternoon we went for a walk down by the secret lochs. Oscar came too. It was cold. TJ moaned the whole time:<br />
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"It's cold enough to freeze the bloody balls off a brass monkey!" he ranted. He then proceeded to bore everyone with what a brass monkey is (a stack of cannon balls on an old military ship, apparently) and what happens when they freeze (the balls on top of the stack fall off, apparently).<br />
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"Please shut up." asked SJ, politely.<br />
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We went for another walk by another loch. On the way back to the car, I realised I wasn't feeling too well.....<br />
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When we got back to the cottage I had the hiccoughs. SJ took me for a walk and I was icky dick.<br />
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Dont' tell the two-leggers but it was probably due to the dead frog I ate when I was off lead by one of the secret lochs.<br />
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I had some dinner and then got the hiccoughs again. TJ took me out for another walk.<br />
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I like to eat grass when I have the hiccoughs - it makes me feel better. I ate a lot.<br />
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"What are you, a bloody cow!" said TJ.<br />
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"I'll be milking you tomorrow!".<br />
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Very funny TJ. <br />
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When I got back I had some more dinner. No more frogs legs for me.<br />
<br />
Rosie. X.The Dogs Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01841765235050525487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750967594548195316.post-25408898169071823192010-05-10T18:57:00.003+01:002012-04-09T14:14:41.393+01:00The Scottish Highlands - Day 10 - Snow, Swallows and an OtterAbi's turn again - today was just weird..... and not just because Gordon Brown resigned.<br />
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When we woke up it was snowing again. Snowing I ask you! In the middle of May! TJ got a message from a friend who lives in Scotland that said that we shouldn't be surprised and that summer here only lasts between the last day of July and the first day in August.<br />
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EB, DJ and Oscar came round in the morning. DJ was going to the dentist later. One of his teeth fell out last night and needed sticking in again. TJ told me that it was made of hard wood but I'm not so sure. SJ said that it was a crown. I thought a crown went on your head, not in it. Oh well.<br />
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Jack and Oscar had a fight! What a surprise. They can be a right pair of half-wits sometimes. Good job DJ was there to get in between them. They both looked suitably ashamed afterwoods, and so they should.<br />
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We all had lunch and then DJ went off to the dentist to have his tooth soldered back in. TJ said that the dentist would have to were a soldering mask to stop the sparks setting fire to his hair. I'm never going to the dentist.<br />
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We went for a walk down by the river in Carrbridge. It bloody snowed again! It was freezing. Then we saw Swallows flying by, and over the river. TJ said that they had probably just arrived from Africa, I bet they wish they hadn't bothered. SJ took some ace piccies. She takes fab pics, you should see her website <a href="http://www.sallys-gallery.co.uk/">http://www.sallys-gallery.co.uk/</a><br />
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Then it was off down to Loch Morlich for a run around with Oscar. On the walk down there we saw the most amazing thing - a huge Otter! He was just running around on the woodland floor. Even Jack and Rosie were amazed. So amazed their chase instinct didn't kick in and they just stood there and stared at it, as did the rest of us. SJ got some top pics before he slipped back in the river.<br />
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We reached the lock. Rosie, Jack and Oscar had a great time chasing sticks and each other. Jack rolled around in the sand like a loon. And then it was back to the car.<br />
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It was snowing again by this point, so TJ decided to drive to the base ski station on Cairngorm. When we got there it was a blizzard, I kid you not. SJ has got the pics to prove it.<br />
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TJ got out of the car. Jack said that if he tried to get him out he would bite his goolies off! TJ got back in the car.<br />
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It was snowing all the way back to the cottage. Then it stopped and the sun came out! You couldn't make it up.<br />
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We all had dinner - with tuna in it - yum. And then Jack spent the rest of the evening trying to get sand out each of his orifaces. Nice. Not.<br />
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Abi. X.The Dogs Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01841765235050525487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750967594548195316.post-62893041325429084472010-05-10T11:46:00.005+01:002012-04-09T14:14:41.393+01:00The Scottish Highlands - Day 9 - Six MilesJacky Boy here, hello everyone.<br />
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Today we went for a really nice, very long, walk in Glenmore forest. We loved it.<br />
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To start we walked by a river, TJ kept stopping and producing yawn facts about lichen, woodland flowers and Scottish pine trees. He never seems to realise that SJ isn't listening.<br />
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Then we arrived at a track and we followed it up through the forest and out in to the hills. Eventually we arrived at an amazing loch. The water in it was green! Hence it's name - 'The Green Loch' - thanks TJ but we worked that one out for ourselves.<br />
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There was something tranquil and mystical about the place. We passed a chap that was telling his very small daughter that this was the loch where fairies come to wash their clothes.<br />
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We walked on a bit and low and behold! There was Julian Clary washing his smalls by the loch side! Ha ha!<br />
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We walked back and through a different part of the forest, ignoring TJ's droning about 300 year old trees, old fords and mountain streams.<br />
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Eventually we arrived at Loch Morlich where I was let off the lead. TJ threw sticks in to the loch for me to chase - Rosie joined in - we had such good fun. I loved every minute.<br />
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When we got back to the cottage we were all very tired.<br />
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TJ watched some football on the telly whilst we snoozed. Some team called Chelsea were playing a team called Wigwam apparently. What an odd name.<br />
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Jack. X.The Dogs Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01841765235050525487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750967594548195316.post-75676937420988538682010-05-10T11:29:00.004+01:002012-04-09T14:14:41.393+01:00The Scottish Highlands - Day 8 - Oscar and Sluggan BridgeHello all, Rosie here.....<br />
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Today was a lazy day - and there turned out to be good reason.<br />
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We had the usual morning, a walk with TJ (he swore more than usual as Abi insisted on sniffing every blade of grass down by the loch), breakfast and then a nice kip whilst TJ did nothing and SJ put her face on.<br />
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Normally we go out for a nice long walk late morning, but not today. TJ kept leaving the cottage with bags of clothes that were dry and when he came back they were wet. Jack reckoned he must have been throwing them in the loch for some reason. We did notice that the clothes smelt nicer when they came back (especially TJ's undercrackers) than they did when they left.<br />
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Then we all had a nice surprise. Oscar the boxer turned up!!!!! SJ's parents (EB and DJ) had arrived and they are spending a week at an apartment down the road in Aviemore. We all had a good sniff of Oscar's todger and agreed that by the stench that it was definitely him. He was pleased to see us. And even Jack didn't try and bite one of his ears off!<br />
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We all went for a walk down to Sluggan Bridge. TJ came out with another yawn fact - a sluggan is a gullet (or gulley). Oscar and me were allowed off the lead. We had a good run around. And Oscar played in the shallow river. <br />
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We walked back up the hill to the car and went back to the chalet for dinner.<br />
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The clothes that were wet had dried after being strewn around the conservatory. SJ inspected a pair of TJ's undercrackers:<br />
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'Put them on a hot wash next time dear' she said, 'at least 90 degrees'.<br />
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I wonder what she meant by that.<br />
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Rosie. X.The Dogs Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01841765235050525487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750967594548195316.post-66555343797997404952010-05-08T12:03:00.001+01:002012-04-09T14:14:41.393+01:00The Scottish Highlands - Day 7 - OspreysHello all, Abi here with latest blog.<br />
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The day started with a lovely long morning walk with TJ. We met some lovely people on the far side of the loch who fussed us for at least 10 minutes whilst TJ bored them stupid on a number of subjects including yesterday's erection (!!). <br />
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In the afternoon we went for a walk down by the four secret Uath Lochs of Inshriach. It was absolutely beautiful. TJ kept babbling on about the fact that the lochs actually used to be one big loch and that it was a bloody kettle hole. Rosie peed on his boots but he didn't notice.<br />
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We climbed up to the Farleitter Crag - a huge boulder (technically an 'erractic' according to TJ - yawn) - that had been carried by a glacier and dumped on top of the hill. It was a long way up, but worth it for the stunning views of the lochs.<br />
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On the way back, we stopped by Loch Insh. There is an island in the loch covered in woodland including tall pines. At the top of one of the pines there is an Osprey nest.<br />
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And in the nest is a sitting female Osprey. The male was perched near by, standing guard. And then it took off - truely a magnificent sight as it swooped down towards the loch looking for a fish to catch. It's seven foot wingspan has to be seen to believed. Sadly, he didn't catch a fish and then returned to the nest.<br />
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We also saw three Goldeneye ducks on the loch. These are rare birds with only 200 breeding pairs in the UK - all here in the Highlands.<br />
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SJ took some lovely pictures and then we made our way back to the cottage.<br />
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We had mince in our dinner and then a good sleep. All the fresh air makes us very tired.<br />
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Abi. X.<br />
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ps. Rosie has just told me that there was an election yesterday, not an erection. Oops!The Dogs Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01841765235050525487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750967594548195316.post-33003102772593192522010-05-07T11:59:00.001+01:002012-04-09T14:14:41.393+01:00The Scottish Highlands - Day 6 - 'Have you fallen dear?'Jack the Lad here - today was funny.....<br />
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TJ was up late again and walked all three of us together. We met a gorgeous greyhound at the end of the loch. Her name is Meg and she hails from Cheshire. She is a lovely dark brindle colour. I quite fancy her. Hope I see her again soon.....<br />
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After lunch we went for a walk in Ellan Woods. Me and Rosie were off lead - we had a good run around. I got in to bother for laying down in a bog again. I like bogs! I can't help it. I did whiff a bit though ;o)<br />
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I ran off for a bit after that - thought I saw a squirrel - when I got back, Rosie gave me a good telling off. She is a bossy pack leader but she looks after us well.<br />
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As we got towards the end of the walk Rosie, me and TJ found ourselves a long way ahead of SJ and Abi (who was on the lead). Then we heard a commotion and looked back. All we could see was Abi yomping through the woodland shrubbery dragging SJ along behind - on her hands and knees. Abi had seen a rabbit! <br />
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"Abi!, Abi!" yelped SJ. TJ was sniggering and snorting.<br />
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SJ picked herself up off the muddy floor, and then Abi lunged again as the rabbit reappeared! SJ was on the deck again! TJ hooted with laughter.<br />
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"Abi!! for goodness sake!!" complained SJ. She picked herself up and dusted herself down.<br />
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"That wasn't funny!" she said as she caught us up.<br />
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"No dear" replied TJ, he winked at me as we continued on, trying his hardest not to smile.<br />
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And then SJ tripped over a stone, stumbled forward, tripped again and was face down in the dirt! Again!<br />
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TJ bellowed with laughter, holding his oversized stomach with both hands. He helped SJ up. She was not happy.<br />
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TJ giggled like a naughty school boy all the way back to the car and then all the way back to the cottage. He was still grinning like a buffoon when SJ dispatched him to the launderette with a bag of washing.<br />
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Jack. X.The Dogs Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01841765235050525487noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1750967594548195316.post-11983132046367556542010-05-06T10:50:00.001+01:002012-04-09T14:15:40.017+01:00The Scottish Highlands - Day 5 - The Kettle HoleHello everyone, Rosie here with an update on the goings on in Nessie land.<br />
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The day started with TJ walking all 3 of us. He got up late after not sleeping well due to being in pain (as usual). He moaned on about every single part of his skeletal framework for at least half an hour after getting out of bed. He said his - <em>insert joint of your choice here - </em>was so painful that he didn't think he was going to be able to put his boots on.<br />
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We tied him up in knots on the walk. It was so funny. Abi is a master of the 'stop for a pee when the two-legger is least expecting it' game. It drives TJ nuts. Jack did his number 2 half way up a grassy bank. It took TJ five minutes to pick it up. Each time he tried to climb the bank one of us would pull in the opposite direction. I have never heard him swear so much - and that's saying something.<br />
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We arrived back at the cottage, eventually, where TJ told SJ that we were 'a nightmare' and was befuddled as to why Abi pees so much. "Really" said SJ, "that's interesting", she wasn't listening.....<br />
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Then came the afternoon walk at Loch Morlich or 'the kettle hole' as TJ kept reminding us. If he tells us that it is a kettle hole one more time I'm going to pee on his boots - while he is wearing them - and it will be a long pee - I'm good at those.<br />
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We walked all the way around the Loch - 3.5 miles. It was lovely. For the first half we were on leads as we were on the south side of the Loch in the woods. There is a roe deer cull on at the moment, so none of us fancied getting shot!<br />
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When we got to the north side of the Loch we reached the beach. Yes, the Loch really has a beach! It's fantastic. It was safe to be let off the lead here.<br />
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That's when it happened, that's when we first saw Jack's true colours.....<br />
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As you know, Jack is a lurcher - there is a lot of greyhound in him but we didn't know what else. He didn't know either - we all do now.....<br />
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The moment came when we were racing up and down the beach. The Loch is very shallow so we were in and out of the water too. TJ picked up a stick and threw it out in to the Loch. Jack instinctively raced after it and fetched it back!!!!! and dropped it back at TJ's feet!<br />
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"Do it again!, Do it again!, Do it again!" said Jack. TJ threw the stick again and off went Jack and then back he came - stick in mouth. This went on for 15 minutes.<br />
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So there you have it - there is gun dog in him - most likely Labrador. Jack is very pleased with himself - he can retrieve (gun dog) very, very quickly (sighthound).<br />
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We carried on walking and made it back the car, where we met a coach party of pensioners from Cheshire. They all gathered around the back of the car and fussed us. It was lovely.<br />
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Just before they left, an elderly gentleman asked SJ a most peculiar question:<br />
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"Do they like sea water?"<br />
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"Er....." replied SJ, "Well they like a run on the beach I suppose".<br />
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When we got back, we had mince in our dinner - yum - and then a good sleep. We were too tired to wind up TJ on our bedtime walk - although he did manage to bang his head very hard on the branch of a tree - the numpty.<br />
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Rosie. X.The Dogs Bloghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01841765235050525487noreply@blogger.com0