Sunday 5 December 2010

Numptiness.....

.....isn't really a word, but it's the only word I can use when referring to just about anything and everything that TJ does - he takes the biscuit sometimes. Read on.....

Rosie here (again). Abi says she hasn't got time to blog at the moment as she is at a critical point in her latest research project. If you recall, Abi is very intelligent (or she likes to think she is) and spends much of her waking time, about 98% of it, deep in thought. The other 2% is made up of peeing (lots), pooing (mountains of it), eating and drinking. She says she has turned her attention to the philosophy of physics and is researching supermarket black holes. I haven't the heart to tell her that it's 'supermassive' not 'supermarket'. Especially as she has come to a conclusion that if Tesco entered a black hole it would most likely appear at the other end as a Lidl, with no clubcard scheme.

Jack is in no fit state to blog either. He's besotted with foster girlie Maisie. He calls her his 'little royster-doyster' and seems to determined to 'see things through' as he puts it. Charming. How he intends to achieve this is puzzling us ladies, as he seems to have forgotten that he is missing his testicles. Still, it should be fun watching him try. Maisie calls him a 'collosal eunuch'. Jack clearly doesn't know what a eunuch is as he seems very pleased with himself. 'I'm a eunuch you know' he says, 'collosal too', and then he grins like a small child with wind.

Suki isn't up for blogging either. She's too busy prettying herself. There is a white Saluki in the village called Smidge and we occasionally walk up on the forest with him and his sister Twiggy..... and Suki, well..... you can probably guess..... tart.

So it's down to me! Anyhow back to TJ.

It snowed last Wednesday night. It snowed a lot. TJ turned in to numpty kid. He's a proper arse most of the time, but a few inches of snow turned him in to a grinning idiot. He sat and stared out of the window.....

'It's still snowing!' he said.

'I know, I can see.' said SJ, 'And it's only 45 seconds since the last time you told me.' she added.

'It's getting deeper!' he squealed.

'I know, I can see.' said SJ.

'It's proper snow too!!' he was nearly crying with delight by now.

'I KNOW!, I can SEE! said SJ, calmly.

This went on for two days. Poor SJ, it's hard enough looking after 5 dogs.

On day 3 it thawed and it rained. So what does TJ do? He gritted the driveway!

'Why have you gritted the driveway AFTER it snowed and AFTER it has melted?' SJ asked.

'Er..... er..... er..... because..... because..... the tarmac looked like it would benefit from being covered in grit? Yes?

'No.' said SJ. Needless to say, it rained again and the grit was washed down the drains.

There really is no hope for him.

Rosie. X

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