Monday, 19 October 2009

A faux pas, gin and a broken trigger clip

Greetings readers - Abi (the bright one) here with an update on the weekend just gone.

Before I start, I thought you might be interested to know that I can fit the whole of my head in Rosie's mouth. We were a bit bored last Thursday so I said: 'Let's see if I can get the whole of my head in your mouth' to Rosie and she kindly obliged. Wasn't expecting her to lick the inside of my ears though - eeeuuuwww..... she said it tasted like sour milk.

Would also like to mention that the cyst on my back has got a little bigger. I like to nibble it every now and again - usually when I'm bored and Rosie doesn't want to play 'Which part of my anatomy can I fit your mouth?'.

Anyhow - Saturday was great. We met up with Ed, Dennis and Lily who are all related to Rosie. Apparently they are all descendants of a dog called Spiral Nikita. There respective two-leggers came too and they were very nice - lots of treats. Fancy calling a dog Dennis? - I prefer his racing name, Scarface. He said he doesn't mind Dennis cos he's got used to it now.

We went for a long walk up at Wilverley inclosure and then went to the local hostelry for a lie down and some (well a lot actually) biscuits. The pub is called the Hare and Hounds and there is a drawing of me and Rosie on the pub sign - no really, there is!

When we were in there one of TJ's mates, Bigfecker, came in with his girlfriend. TJ was pleased to see him cos he hadn't seen him in ages. They came and sat with us. Predictably, TJ put his foot in it.....

TJ: 'So - how's yer Dad these days?'
Bigfecker: 'Er..... he died in April'
TJ: 'Oh..... ermmm..... I'm sorry to hear that'
TJ: 'And how's the dog?'
Bigfecker: 'She died two weeks ago'

Imagine, if you will, a short period of excruciatingly painful silence followed by some odd coughing followed by.....

TJ: 'Oh dear, I think Abi's farted - what a stench! Sorry about that!'

I hadn't farted - the idiot was trying to change the subject. SJ just groaned in disbelief.

On Sunday it was the GIN walk (Greyhounds In Need). Once a month, a bunch of us retired hounds get together for a nice walk in the forest. The two-leggers come too, pay two quid each and the money goes to GIN. Good idea I reckon.

It was brill, the weather was nice and the views were beautiful. Rosie was let off the lead and as usual spent the whole walk at the front directing the rest of us around. There was a rebellious whippet pup (Charlie) who occasionally disobeyed orders but the rest of us were happy to plod and do as we were told. There were 17 dogs in total. Best name goes to Rupert the Saluki (apparently his real name is Nigel - no wonder his two-leggers changed it! Nigel the Saluki? - nah).

Rosie and I slept very well when we got back - we had walked 6.87 kilometeres. TJ the geek had measured it on his iPhone.....

This morning (Monday) I nearly had a cat! On our walk we came across a cat on the other side of a picket fence. As I lurched forward, TJ pulled back on the lead and the trigger clip broke! I was free!!!!!

Rosie, the plonker, barked and the cat jumped to it's right (still behind the fence) and I leaped to my left - straight to within the reach of SJ who grabbed my harness - poo.

We turned to TJ - he was inspecting the broken trigger clip.

SJ: 'That was close!'
TJ: 'What was?'
SJ: 'Abi - she nearly had that cat!'
TJ: 'Did she? Sorry, missed that - look at this clip - it's broken - must be metal fatigue'

SJ just sighed. What is she going to do with him?

Abi. X

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